June 26, 2025

Drive This

I drive a big SUV. It’s old, but it can haul all of my kids and more, lots of our stuff, and I am not worried about dragging it through all kinds of conditions or about all kinds of conditions inside.

Dad and my husband have SUVs as well, just slightly smaller ones.

Mom has a tiny car and it’s the one she can get into with her bone on bone knees. It’s very painful and almost impossible for her to get into our SUVs so I drive the tiny car to all of her appointments both locally and 45 minutes away at the big hospital. When my husband drove it a couple of weeks ago to pick her up from the hospital he said it drives better than expected. And out on the open highway it does get going.

But it’s an interesting transition to hop in the tiny car that vibrates while I grip the steering wheel for dear life as it noisily struggles to get up and go. Another first world problem, but, while sandwiched, you may find yourself driving all manner of vehicles you did not choose or expect to be driving to make all the things happen for the ones you are responsible for.

My husband has driven a moving truck in the past when we needed him to and even backed it into my parents’ mini van long ago. He promised he would never own a mini van (and hasn’t yet), but he will be driving a rented one on our upcoming vacation due to an availability issue with the SUV we wanted as we cannot pick an SUV up in one place and drop it off many miles away where we would like it to. But a mini van, yep, that’s available for that. I was terrified to drive the first big SUV that we bought because my husband was/is anti-minivan and came to love it.

However, with Mom’s car I have a hate/hate relationship. I am thankful we have something she can get into (silver lining), but that thing locks automatically constantly, it is not a comfortable drive, and it feels like I am the most vulnerable of all while trying to merge (though I will admit it’s a little easier to zip into traffic and into tight parking spaces). There’s no back up sensors and the airbag light is constantly on. And every time I hand the keys to the valet at the big hospital I cringe and refuse to look as they try to adjust the seat to find their way in.

One day I will only see it in the rearview mirror of my memory and hope I can laugh about it then. And an even greater hope is that the huge SUV keeps humming until we reach the stage of fewer crumbs on the seats and until we have graduated from car seats and sticky floors.