July 3, 2025

20 Years

My husband and I celebrated 20 years of marriage today and we had an amazing dinner out at a restaurant we love in a city where we lived when we were first married. I was going to grad school at that time while he started his first job. Those dinner plans materialized at the last minute and, while thoroughly enjoyed, made us realize that we are not prioritizing the sandwiched advocates/caregivers/managers of this family, us.

If your person is currently sandwiched, especially if that person is the primary caregiver of the family. make those plans to take that person out (or if not possible to make a day in the best day!). Also, find a way to give that person time off to relax and prepare for an enjoyable time of connection, time to make the date last (if you can get away, obviously do that), and time to recharge a little the next day before returning to the usual roles and responsibilities.

And if you know the sandwiched and you’re able, offer to stand in for them for a day or more or to take on some of their responsibilities. Or maybe offer a gift card for part of the date or to pay for part or all of the caregiving services that they will need to get a break. Consider who you can support as they take just a little break from those who need them the most. For many there is no real time before or after work that they can count on consistently, no weekends off, no vacations without significant planning. It can be all-consuming and everyone needs to recharge sometimes, but not everyone can.