July 30, 2025

Making it Work

As I eased myself out of bed this morning I pleasantly found that my aches and pains from hotel mattresses and alternating between hiking and riding in a mini van had mostly subsided. But my smiles about that were short-lived as I realized I needed to hurry through my coffee and breakfast (even though almost nobody else in the house was up yet and the near silence sounded wonderful) to log on for my 7 AM client. I see a small limit of clients per week, especially in the summer, as I am primary caregiver, camp counselor, and beyond for my four children all summer (both a tremendous privilege and quite a challenge) and advocate for both parents as they navigate their medical needs. My husband gets up, showers, shaves, and leaves for the office without interruptions or much to consider outside of his personal care and upcoming professional responsbilities.

If I want to work beyond my roles as wife, mother, daughter and co-house manager, I have to make it work because I have loved ones relying on me. So this morning it was just the one terrific client (I have the best clients almost all of the time and when there are challenges it is rare that I cannot understand why) and then I grabbed an active shirt and threw my hair up in a ponytail and we were off on an adventure to meet another mom with active kids for two of the hardest library hikes. We hiked about 4 1/2 miles between the two hikes (which is a lot for me and my lifestyle) and enjoyed many beautiful sights and a whole lot of complaining from the kids. But I got to catch up with my friend about all things work, kids, kids’ schools, experiences with our family members’ medical issues, travel and trips, and all manner of the sweetest conversation while hiking and swimming afterward. I rarely see her between our yearly hike day with the kids as our kids are in different local school districts and understandably haven’t remained friends beyond their younger years in the local play group where we met, but we made this pleasant catch up work while simultaneously getting our kids fresh air, exercise, and space for creative activities without screens for a good 6 hours plus. She understands that part of making it work is that she packs her own lunch for herself and her own kids while I just have to bring ours (subbed the lunch packing out to my 15 year old son to make that work) so that we can all enjoy my amazing neighbor’s pool together and I am hosting but not going to the extra effort of providing a lunch which may not be a favorite for her and her kids.

My thoughtful in-laws offered again to take one kiddo at a time for a couple of nights each to give them special attention and activities away from what is often a chaotic rhythm of collective living at our house. Each child gets to pick the meals my mom-in-law cooks and the fast food and treats they go out and enjoy and they get to do all kinds of fun things with both of my husband’s active parents. So a bonus after a long day keeping up with the kids and their needs was the fact that my middle son heading off with my mom-in-law, I whipped up some eggs for the other kids, and we got some toast and freezer waffles out and everyone basically could fend for themselves with some minor support. Sometimes to make it work we keep it super simple. I’ve also had an awesome cleaning person do wonders here this week. I can only afford one half day per week, but it’s worth it. And we’ve had groceries delivered to restock. Sometimes I go, but often I make use of the awesome memberships available to me.

I’m not a magician or an octopus. Mom always used to say that about herself as she juggled all of the things back when she was in a similar sandwiched stage of life. She made it work and each day, somehow, I make it work too.