July 31, 2025

I Want a Friend Over

We started our family in the home my husband grew up in adjacent to an extended family farm where my father-in-law grew up. We brought all 4 of our children home to that ranch house but only the boys (especially the oldest two) remember what it was like to run freely and play on the 100 acres with some amazing second cousins right where we all lived.

Mom and Dad needed support so they sold their house and we did too and bought one house, but there are many things we miss about the farm not the least of which is missing the second cousins to play with right outside. We have some amazing neighbors but we are often on different schedules and the kids are frequently asking for various friends from school.

IYKYK the text messages involved in trying to have a friend over for one child, let alone if I am trying to coordinate the social lives of up to four kids who don’t drive yet, are truly numerous. It is truly another part-time job, especially with the younger children, and even more so when introducing one’s self to the child’s chosen friend’s parents, explaining plans and how we do things, answering questions, picking times, and figuring out which parents are driving which ways. When I was growing up the host family stayed home while the parents of the visiting child dropped off and picked up. These days it seems to be becoming more and more frequent that the host family offers to either come pick up the visiting child or dropping that child off afterwards. I have benefited from other parents’ generosity in this way several times now, but when it is my turn to offer I  am not always thrilled. But to get the kids together, especially if it’s a group of them takes plenty of parental time and attentions. I’m thankful to be involved in seeing what they’re doing and in getting to know their friends, but it’s definitely another unsung responsibility of the primary caregiver.