September 4, 2025

Responsive

Shout out to an amazing neighbor who has been the MVP at texting me more often than anyone else to ask how Mom is doing, how her pain is, and what the updates are regarding her care. She is a retired physician herself and has answered many of my questions. She has been very responsive and very encouraging. And there are certainly others who have been incredibly empathetic and responsive as well.

It’s a shame that the medical team has not called me once post “end of surgery debriefing.” I had them write my name on Mom’s white board and just like in the small hospital I can’t seem to get through to anyone in the big hospital when I call and when they told me they would put me through to he bedside nurse. They put me through to a voicemail. I never got a call back. And I am admittedly weary and burned out. I have been advocating THIS time around on this medical issue for Mom for 11 months now. Hospital systems and their staff, in my growing experience, are NOT supportive of the patient’s support system. If it’s not a liability concern it appears that they do not care.

And Mom said this morning the attending surgeon did not come in to check on her. Rather two residents came in very briefly and asked how she was doing. She says she is feeling so-so as she has been telling them everyday. She also tells them the NG tube hurts and they simply said “it’s going to be there a while.” This was upsetting for her as the attending told her they were going to leave the NG tube in for another day and his statement implied that there might be a change after that/.

I am an hour away with 4 kids, plenty of work for my two part-time jobs and trying to live apart from spending my life at the hospital. It’s hard to get there. But it appears that I have to be the squeaky wheel to receive bare minimum reasonable communication and updates. It’s ridiculous that Mom has been BACK in the hospital for 5 days now and not once have they given me an update. I only got one in the ED because Mom put me on speakerphone while the provider was in the room. I tried calling the ED multiple times and no one ever answered.

Responsiveness to a patient’s people and empathy are in short supply in the inpatient system.