February 14, 2026

Invisible

For a few years now I have felt invisible to myself for long stretches of time. I come up for air during brief, but special times of reprieve, but in the day to day there is SO much that falls on me and for which I am responsible that I rarely have time to feel like myself. I am often drained and my marriage has been too. I don’t want to regret oversharing at this time, but I will say that if you feel like you are being treated like you are invisible to your husband and it seems like he is on another planet you are not alone. If your Valentine’s Day was what you set up for your family and you were completely overlooked, you’re not alone. If it felt like just another day of being dead last on your and everyone else’s list, you’re in no way the only one. Please know that it’s not just you. There have been darker times and there certainly can be far more difficult circumstances. But sometimes it feels like I am unrecognizable both inside and out to me. There’s just so much that I am carrying in this season. While Sandwiched I just have not been myself quite often and I find that it is very rare for anyone to pour into me other than my Incredible tribe of women who get it. Some of them get some of it, some get other parts, and some just care A Lot and by God’s grace their support can always be found and is enough to spur me on. Sometimes the little times of reprieve are SO magical where I get to take a break that finds me or I get to engage in an experience where I feel more myself than ever. These come with careful planning and literally several people providing favors to stand in for me (some of which I will end up returning because they were provided by another overextended Mom who can surely use one owed to her from someone who will deliver because she didn’t have much to give in the first place but get it). Sometimes the little times of reprieve are quiet whispers that were unexpected. They come when I experience song lyrics that remind me of youth and freedom. They come when I see some cardinals or robins and think of the irreplaceable love I enjoyed while I still had my maternal grandparents on this earth and I remember how worthy I am of love. They come when I have an excellent session with a client and they commend me for my help and I remember my competence. They come in the best moments with my children where I feel God’s presence and am reminded of my inherent value. But this is a season of depletion, of giving beyond what I have to give and far beyond when it hurts, and it tends to take a whole lot of rearranging to steal time to truly recharge.