Sandwiched Support

Tag: health

  • July 25, 2025

    Fun Fact about the Founder and Family

    I know I am not the first to mention this issue, but I have sadly reached the age where I sleep with a certain arrangement of pillows because without them I frequently wake up feeling like I’m in traction. And these days calls are becoming more frequent from my parents when I have already headed to bed that lead to me getting up and going downstairs to deal with a need. It reminds me of when I had newborns and honestly, I know it can get much more frequent and a lot worse.

    It’s almost time to go home, but we are traveling on an adventure with our kids that is taking us many places back to back to back and has also led us to stay at a number of different places and to sleep in a series of different borrower beds.

    Flying does not easily allow for packing a pile of pillows so I have been trying to recreate my pillow pile to no avail. And every single morning on this trip without exception I wake up literally hours before I need to be awake finding that I need to get up right away because of new levels of the discomfort. Without the skillful arrangement of the aforementioned pillows and without a mattress similar to mine at home, I know I am planning to be up early and often throughout the night.

    Shout out to just the right pillows and, while we’re at it, to the best mattresses too! The primary caregivers and advocates need our rest and find it frequently disrupted or tough to come by due to other priorities and responsibilities (both expected and unexpected). When we lose we are very unlikely to get a chance to rest another time soon afterward.

    When you don’t get to sleep because of meeting another person’s needs it’s an amazing selfless act, but at the same time, it can take a significant toll. May the sandwiched and all caregivers and advocates find ways to get the very best sleep when we have time for it.

  • July 24, 2025

    The Keeper

    We checked into a hotel with an indoor water park in or at and our boys were already having the time of their lives with their dad on the big water slides while I, Mom, was holding everyone’s shoes and a big bag of things we thought we might need as there was no available table or chair in sight and we try to avoid at least some of the extra fees like the locker fee.

    Then this amazing fellow mom, a complete stranger, waived me over and said it was just her at her table and I was welcome to sit there. Perfect for keeping an eye on my daughter in the play areas for younger kiddos- front row seat.

    Then my husband (after going to the rental vehicle to locate our second son’s second croc) brought me more to hold and then asked “aren’t you going in?” He felt it was fine to just leave our stuff including cell phones and i wasn’t comfortable with that without a locker. Plus the other mom at the table had gotten up to get a double tube for our daughter and her daughter to ride around together and I didn’t want to leave her stuff unattended.

    Like a living coat rack my children have been hanging things on me or placing them in my hands since they could crawl and the load has only gotten heavier when there’s things to do. It seems to come with the territory that Mom is to hold this, watch this, do this and in many ways it’s a special honor, until the expectations overwhelm and the literal weight of things pile up. Sometimes it really is just a lot.

    Very thankful for other moms who jump in to ease my four ring circus sometimes in a pinch when it feels like even with my husband and I there’s not enough parenting, refereeing, and overseeing to go around.

    It felt nice to be able to just sit in this extra chair this evening as we’ll be doing plenty more over the weekend and because at home Mom has been handing me her things for years as well.

    If you’re a caregiver, I see you. If you feel like a human coat rack; I’m right there with you. And if you’re sandwiched and your parents or older loved ones are now placing their things in your hands in more ways than one; you’re not alone.

  • July 23, 2025

    Taken Care of in a Timely Manner

    Yesterday I found it concerning that when I finally called the right number for Medicare and asked about whether or not Mom’s new benefit period began now that she has been home (with no additional inpatient admissions) for over 60 days as required for her plan to reinstate a new series of available Medicare Part A days.

    The representative I spoke with yesterday seemed more knowledgeable and professional than some others I have spoken with in the past and she was able to tell me that her view of the system shows that Mom’s days should have come back now (other than those 60 lifetime days which never come back) given that I did understand correctly that she has been home for more than 60 days.

    However, this helpful representative admitted that though Mom should be in a new benefit period as of a few days back, the system does not show the availability of the new days on her end.

    Ok, so I am of course glad at this point that this representative is confirming for me what we suspected that Mom FINALLY was able to stay home for 60 plus days in a row without any inpatient admissions and her Part A benefits are returning in time for an upcoming surgery that is scheduled for Monday at the big hospital.

    So I explained to the helpful representative that the surgery is supposed to be first thing next week and I would like to confirm that her Part A benefits are reinstated now for a new benefits period as she has met the requirements. The helpful representative replied that she was escalating this to what I believe she called a “senior specialist”. She assured me that she was writing a thorough explanation of my question and the reasons for my question and I believe that she did. t

    Here’s what led me to feeling concerned yesterday. The helpful representative told me that the senior specialist had 7 business days to return my call. 7 business days?! It was Tuesday and the surgery was Monday!

    I expressed this concern to the helpful representative and she said that I could call Mom’s surgeon’s office and encourage them to call the provider line for confirmation.

    Seriously, how are patients, especially Seniors, doing all of this without someone advocating for them through plenty of inefficient steps?

    I thanked her and asked for her name. She gave it to me and I asked for her extension. She said she doesn’t have an extension or a call back number and I can just call the main number back and explain all of this again if the senior specialist does not return my call before the 7 business day window.

    Not an ideal option, but grateful to know that’s the way it is for future reference. So yesterday I called the big hospital’s outpatient surgery office and explained everything about the potential billing concerns if the new benefits period is not clearly started in the system. The woman who answered the phone listened to my whole explanation and then had to transfer me to a woman in the billing department whose voicemail answered my call. I explained everything yesterday on her voicemail and have not received a return call from her.

    It seems, this time, that all is working out for Mom. I was absolutely shocked and thrilled that the senior specialist returned my call today and I was available to answer right away! She couldn’t have been nicer and did confirm that Mom’s Part A is in a new benefit period as of a few days ago when Mom made it to 60 days at home without an inpatient admission during that time.

    Thankful to have that verbal confirmation and when we got disconnected because I am traveling and was on the road when she called, she called back and left a message trying to finish our call. Very kind of her to call back! Unfortunately I didn’t have reception and her message stated that I would just have to call the main number back again. No direct number or extension to call her back and finish our call.

    Grateful that I got what I needed at this time, but quite frankly I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  • July 15, 2025

    Rain Storms

    There has been so much rain in our area back home lately that some of the local parks have had to close or make modifications to the hike program we love due to heavy mud or down trees. Our swimming instructor sent an email that their pool, basement, and street had taken on so much water and were such a mess that our being away on vacation isn’t the only reason our daughter didn’t have swimming lessons today. Challenging weather comes and goes and can certainly be unpredictable from surprise storms to states of emergency, the worst does happen sometimes and we do not know when.

    Today we had the privilege of being part of a river rafting experience, mild when it came to rapids, but packed with the beauty of nature and the friendly hospitality. The experience was rain or shine and after a pleasant initial half hour the downpour that both weather apps and clouds in the sky told us to expect began. Delightfully the kids laughed through almost the entire experience as I ended up hunched over, protecting the cell phones in a bag close to me. And then some hail pounded down as well and all the while we continued to float along. Time didn’t stop and we were in the thick of the experience without a pause or a stop. Ponchos were offered to us by our guide (who was fantastic!), but we chose to persevere without. As I waited for what ended up being two rounds of storms to pass, I watched the delicate raindrops dance on the water and remarked at how beautiful they looked hitting the river.

    Watching those raindrops was quite grounding for me in those moments, as was the laughter and relaxed chatter between my children. On a day when I had to make a call to a family member’s doctors, regarding some test results, while navigating spotty cell reception as we traveled, this was a valuable pause. As the weather intruded upon our tour, a glimpse of peaceful, mindful radical acceptance and refocus came into play and provided the pause I needed to keep going.

    May we the sandwiched find that pause as we navigate each additional challenge that arises and may we always be able to see beauty in small and big ways while we keep going.

  • July 11, 2025

    No Sick Days

    When you’re sandwiched, there simply are no sick days, at list not without getting others (likely multiple others) to accommodate said sick days. This morning the provider at urgent care found red throats for Dad and I and a very red infected ear for me in addition to sinus infections and we headed home with prescriptions for antibiotics.

    However, while Dad came home to his awaiting bed (I will say that he grabbed Mom’s protein drink first and got up to make her soup at lunchtime), I came home to more outstanding work paperwork, packing, meal prep, laundry, and errands. My decision to head out right before noon to pick up my prescription and get my 12 year old to the library was questionable because, as I soon realized, everyone was out at that time. The drive thru was packed and someone I just couldn’t handle talking to while sick was in the inside line so did a 180 out of line and headed to the car to move onto the library, sans prescription.

    As I was pulling out of the pharmacy parking lot to satisfy my son’s need to read Anthony Horowitz, another medical call came in to get Mom scheduled for the appointment for the gastroenterology provider from the big hospital system who does apparently know about nutrition. I had the wherewithal to tell the caller I was driving and I needed her to pause while I merged and she was very nice and accommodating, but I scheduled that appointment, drove to the library, and came home to just keep swimming.

    Thankfully I had a virtual therapy session for myself today at just the right time after losing patience with the kids and simmering with self-loathing over my limits. Post therapy I self-reflective, but also self-compassionate and going to bed very early after taking my antibiotics and leaning on my husband to take care of bed time for our youngest kiddos. Now hopefully it’s a quiet evening in Mom and Dad’s suite or the cell will be ringing.

    There truly isn’t sick time while sandwiched. There is no relief for the primary caregivers and advocates, the sandwiched, Unless and Until someone chooses to provide backup. It’s a season without clocking out, sun up to sun down.

  • July 8, 2025

    Don’t Lose That Number

    When you are the advocate and caregiver and making the appointments, attempting to make sure the medical recommendations are followed by the patient at home, you are also likely the person who knows who all of the providers are that examined, treated or operated on your loved one. BUT, can you find the phone numbers of every provider? The correct ones? Trust me, you obviously don’t have a direct line to any provider unless you are extremely well-connected so do you know the office number of each provider, each specialist, each lab, each home health agency, each therapy program, each rehabilitation facility, and on and on and on.

    You need some kind of organized system to keep track of all of these providers and their phone numbers and the other facilities phone numbers. Trust me when I tell you that while some of it is fairly straightforward and easy to search for online, a lot of it (especially anything that began in inpatient) is not easily located with a simple online search. So often I’ve found what I thought was the number and then spent hours calling more numbers given by those who answered the phone when I called the wrong number until I finally get the right person to put the information I want to communicate into their system and then Inevitably comes more waiting while they have to call me back or have someone else call me back. Guess what often happens then? I either have to repeat myself yet again, after already repeating myself multiple times before that, or someone else has to call back Again. This round of medical issues hit the fan in mid-October 2024 and hasn’t quick since (though there are semi-calm moments in between, before the next storm) and I honestly have not had the time to put everything together well in a portable system in one place. I am much more of a pen and paper girl than a user of electronic systems, but they certainly have their place and portability is definitely tally mark for technology on the Pros/Cons list.

    For Mom there have now been two hospital systems that she is being treated by just since she and Dad moved in with my husband and I four years ago, leaving behind the county where she lived most of her life (besides her time in college) to live two hours away. Prior to that there were two hospital systems that treated her, with primary attention from one of them. These hospital systems do not share the same electronic medical record systems and while I am thankful that my husband knows how to “link” the different portals from the different hospital systems, it’s still a pain to try to get information from one hospital system to another. It’s definitely not a game of them playing well together. That’s for sure.

    So sometime last week (or sooner) I was warned that the home health agency of the small hospital system who had been coming to our home for Mom again for several weeks was down to providing PT (first OT did what they could do and then discharged her, then eventually nursing did as well, and then PT was talking about it) and I was told that when PT discharged Mom from home health then the mobile lab would have to go away also. Why? The surgeon at the big hospital wanted Mom’s bloodwork every two weeks to show whether or not she is nutritionally sound for surgery. Surgery is coming up. I took her to our local lab the first time which was a fiasco I wrote about previously because I took the handwritten prescription from the big hospital and handed it in at the lab and the PA or NP from the big hospital who works with their surgical team had never done a handwritten prescription for anything before and she did not include all of the necessary information so we had to call to get her to fax a new one and come back hours later, but we got the bloodwork done. Then before two more weeks past a very warm home healthcare nurse told us at our home that while home healthcare was working with Mom they could get us a mobile lab. I was thrilled because it’s one less thing I have to drive Mom out to and I have very little time available not to mention the fact that Mom’s bone on bone knees make getting in and out of the house and in and out of the car very challenging. The home health nurse said that she could call to get us a new order (yep, even though the outpatient lab we were using was part of the small hospital system AND those home healthcare nurses were from a group from EXACTLY THE SAME hospital system (the small hospital system) there is no way to go in their computer system to find the order faxed to the outpatient lab. No No No, instead we have to get a new order for EXACTLY THE SAME bloodwork as we had taken last week because now the mobile lab (who works for EXACTLY the same hospital system) is now taking the blood. The mobile lab drew Mom’s blood twice I believe and as we anticipated being discharged from home health and losing the mobile lab I talked to that friendly RN case manager who works on an outpatient basis from home and mentioned that I believed this was going to be an issue. She confirmed that a new order would be needed but made it seem easy and encouraged me to call her if there was an issue. Well, home health PT discharged my mom two days earlier than expected because Friday was July 4th, essentially ending my mom’s connection to home health on July 2nd. I called that RN case manager right away and left a message, but I haven’t heard from her since (and I did have the right number for her). I assume there is a holiday catch up back up. Anyway, on Monday I called the mobile lab and they said they need a whole new order so take the same blood work (which was ordered to be taken every two weeks and wasn’t “unordered”) from EXACTLY the Same Patient at our home because she is now needing it under “home bound status” rather than as part of services being provided for her from “home health.” I asked if the woman from the mobile lab would call the surgical team who ordered the bloodwork to get a new order. Nope, they don’t do that. My job. Just like everything else.

    I was fed up with being behind with my work and with everything around the house and I am packing for our family vacation with the kids so I asked Mom to call for herself to the outpatient lab in town to make sure they had the previous order for bloodwork which worked just fine before they dangled the shiny carrot of the mobile lab. So since we switched to the mobile lab, now there’s no order at the regular lab. We don’t have home health (so No Moblie Lab for us) and we ALSO can’t just go to the outpatient lab this week like everyone else. The bloodwork was supposed to be taken today and there was no one to take it.

    The number I couldn’t find was the outpatient office of the surgical team for the large hospital. I couldn’t find it easily online either and ended up leaving a message just after 4 PM today when they had just closed for the day asking if Mom still needs the bloodwork anymore and, if so, could they please send updated orders. I left the message on the voicemail of the surgery office that I know was across the hall from the one where Mom was seen, but I can’t find the right number so I am hoping the office where I did leave the message calls me back tomorrow so I can get the number for the correct office and in the meantime the days will tick by past when Mom was supposed to have the bloodwork. Very much hoping that none of this causes the surgery to be postponed. These days I am relating to the phrase “I can’t ‘adult’ anymore” right now.

  • July 7, 2025

    Do We Really Need This Appointment?

    Today I got up early to get my mom to an outpatient office of the big hospital system about 45 minutes out of town to establish care with the big hospital’s GI office. We were referred by the small hospital’s outpatient GI after the PA volleyed us to a physician and the physician had someone call to tell us Mom didn’t need that appointment (funny how that all happened after I questioned a bill following a surgeon nicking my mom, leading to her almost dying, and ending up in the ICU and having a wound vac among other things). I assured them repeatedly at that time that I was not taking any legal action, had not even consulted an attorney, and just wanted them to do something to make it right. Such a long story….but anyway, after a couple of long conversations with staff members about why the small hospital’s outpatient GI office essentially got rid of Mom as a patient (when we were only disputing a bill from the hospital stay following a surgeon’s error and our concerns were regarding some of the actions of the small hospital’s surgical team and not GI), we were referred to the office we went to today.

    And that provider, a nurse practitioner, though warm in demeanor, said almost nothing (absolutely nothing helpful), told us to follow the surgeon’s recommendations after letting me share a lot about Mom’s past surgical experiences at the small hospital and saying very little then also. She did recommend that we schedule with a PA they just hired who is more familiar with nutrition as the questions we were asking today were about options for food variety while Mom treads water on the waves of her ongoing liquid diet.

    As much as that felt like a pointless waste of time, we are hopeful that the next appointment to be scheduled, a meeting with the PA who we hear is nutrition savvy, and one truly never knows when we will need to have GI meds titrated or when there will be unexplained abdominal discomfort along the way. It’s wise to establish care with the offices you may need in the future. It did not feel like that though when we arrived and had to fill out a bunch of forms when we were just at another office (the big hospital’s surgery office) who should really have all of Mom’s info, not to mention that she has been in the big hospital now twice (once for a longer admission) and the other for an extended stay in the ED (out before the second midnight). Why isn’t this stuff in the hospital system’s computers yet? Make it make sense.

    I also spent plenty of time on the phone today because of a debacle with the small hospital system again regarding getting bloodwork every two weeks for the big hospital system. More on that tomorrow. And in addition to that I spent significant time on the phone as well with the small hospital system’s oncology office because Mom’s MRI shows a cyst on her pancreas that they want to keep an eye on. We definitely appreciate that, but all of the write-ups from previous scans, including the recent MRI talk about following up in a year, but suddenly there is full-on communication from this office like it needs to be done immediately, though the diagnosis details and prognosis have not changed a bit. Can we say, too many appointments are open so we need to call everyone who could possibly schedule now? Well, they did say that it’s just all about establishing care.

    Sometimes you end up thankful that you did establish care and you’re not a new patient.

  • June 27, 2025

    Fun Fact about the Founder and Family

    I double-majored in Psychology and English and have Bachelor’s Degrees in both. I enjoy writing, but these days I don’t make time to edit as it seems my sandwiched state is always calling. I have a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology and work as a licensed mental health professional with a contract at certain times of the year to see clients in person part-time and part-time employment providing online therapy. This blog is about my personal life and my personal experiences and it should not be considered professional counseling advice as reading this does not make the reader a client. However, like many other things about myself, my profession is a significant part of my life and my perspective. I do not seek full-time work, though I have worked full-time in the field in the past, as I haven’t found a way to successfully make it work while sandwiched in the way that I currently am. My husband’s degree is in mechanical engineering and he is in engineering management. His role is full-time and we chose together to have four children and we are fortunate at this time to be able to budget and to make sacrifices that allow part-time on my part to be enough. We are also blessed with a village who shares with us and we share with them. Some are both extended family members and also friends, some are friends, some are amazing community members.

    Mom worked as a teacher at a junior high school before she took very early retirement and was able to stay home from teaching after 10 years in to raise me full-time. She taught Home Economics and was incredible at cooking, baking, and especially sewing. She made most of her own clothes while in college, majoring in Home Economics Education, and had one professor who almost lowered her grade because she thought her hand-stitching was done by machine, until her friends and roommates vouched for her. It was all done by hand on that beautiful coat. When I was in elementary school she patented her own bedsheets and she sold many sets, even appearing on QVC and making many sales. I remember having many mixed feelings about Mom going back to work, but was So very proud of her. There is much more to that story for another day. Mom has a Master’s in Education from a prestigious university, as does my Dad.

    Dad worked as an English teacher, then an assistant principal, and then a high school principal for many years. He then trained student teachers as an Adjunct Faculty Member at a private university for years before he retired. Many students requested him at the university level and he successfully trained many future educators. He also taught a night class for those getting their degrees in education while working full-time jobs during the day. He has the most awards of all of us here at home.

    We are very proud of the privilege we have had to be educated at the collegiate level. Each one of us has had the privilege of making a difference in others’ lives and credit for that is certainly owed in large part to the education we received. However, we have learned that when vulnerabilities arise, our support comes from one another as a family and we see many ways that we are truly better together. And we have also learned that while education can scaffold advocacy, it cannot prevent human vulnerability in stress, aging, health concerns, and beyond. We may be educated, but we are still vulnerable. We may be educated, but we are still serving one another at times in menial ways. On some days, with the right perspective, that is a great honor. On other days it quite simply feels below the pay grade and can be unexpected and uncomfortable at best, demeaning and at times traumatic at worst.

    As educated individuals we urge you to have conversations and plan early and often for the more challenging years. Nothing can quite prepare you and you cannot plan for everything, but you can use these posts as a jumping off point for conversations about what if, what then, and how will you support one another while finding support for your sandwiched self. May every advocate, caregiver, sandwiched superstar find their way to their own therapist or support person of your choice who is helpful for you. I am a biased fan of the educated, experienced professional, but finding a good fit is important. I am proud to be a therapist who has a therapist and am a firm believer that every mental health provider should participate in therapy at least for a period of time in their own lives. Mental health is health.

  • June 19, 2025

    Compassion Fatigue

    This reality will certainly warrant a number of posts to do it justice, but I wanted to acknowledge hearing some compassion fatigue from some of the medical professionals we have interacted with lately. I know it’s epidemic at this point due to so very many relevant factors and that everyone must have heard of it by now. However, I am wondering if we are seeking to find adequate solutions.

    So I have experienced Compassion Fatigue at times in my work as well as in my personal life as a sandwiched adult with both the top and bottom bread in the same household with me. And I heard it last week in the voice of the case worker in charge of the ED at the big hospital when I called upon her to assist me with getting Mom discharged from the ED before we reached the second midnight.

    For me personally as the daughter of a patient who has been in and out of the hospital every few weeks or less starting exactly 8 months ago today, it’s been, and continues to be quite the journey. Last week when I realized we could pick Mom up while she was still under the care of the ED in time for her not to lose the 3 weeks she put together at home (now she has 4!) I was making some pretty passionate phone calls advocating for this to happen. I was calling from a noisy place and ended up in tears while explaining everything to the ED’s case worker after already explaining it all to the Utilization Review Specialist and the bedside nurse. I just began to cry from a place of overwhelm and from that place of daring to hope while also managing those expectations. The case worker sounded cold and matter-of-fact. She helped, but it felt very clear to me that she had heard too many crocodile tears in her time and did not hear mine as any different.

    Today I was chatting with someone who is a close friend of mine who is a provider who worked many years ago in an ED far away from here. This person still works in the medical field, but the day to day is very different these days. And this friend shared that there probably are more genuine individuals such as myself who really have been through a lot with their loved ones and truly do need more empathy than we are getting. However, this individual shared something said frequently in the past during a time when there was quite a bit of med-seeking, exaggerated symptoms, and other manipulation on the part of patients in this person’s work life, coming into that ED back then. “I must have left my compassion at home on the kitchen table.” And before anyone judges this individual who is an excellent provider and has a lot of compassion for true needs, I put this here as something for us to think about. I have challenged providers who have not taken care to do their jobs well. I have elevated some concerns to supervisors during these last 8 months and I continue to do so because all of the patients, especially those who have no one to advocate for them deserve ongoing improvements to their care. But I want us all to take some time to think about what medical staff deal with each day and how those experiences accumulate and pile on and can lead to Burnout and to Compassion Fatigue.

    May it become easier and easier and more and more affordable for those caring for others to get the support they need from mental healthcare to respite care to case workers who explain important concepts to patients and families effectively. When life gives them lemons, may they be able to cry into something other than the hospital tissues and find a way to recharge so that they may continue to provide the level of care and compassion that their jobs require. And may we as the caregivers and advocates recharge effectively as well.

  • June 17, 2025

    What I Didn’t Think to Ask

    What you don’t think to ask while living the sandwiched life can lead to plenty of extra time calling in to clarify. Plan to budget extra time into your day, although there’s no way to predict how much time or when you’ll need it.

    So I did receive a call back later yesterday afternoon in response to my call asking about whether Mom needs bloodwork this week so I could respond to the mobile lab and make their schedule. I explained the whole situation again and asked my questions again because it was clear that the person who works with the surgical team who called me (I believe she is a PA who has answered my questions in the past). So I explained again that when Mom was discharged 4 weeks ago from the big hospital, the discharge instructions asked us to take her for bloodwork every 2 weeks to help determine when she is nutritionally sound for surgery. I shared that I took her to the lab two weeks later for bloodwork and the same week home health from the small hospital said they could set us up with the mobile lab to come take care of these blood draws at home every 2 weeks. I then explained that Mom spent one midnight in the ED at the big hospital 3 weeks after her previous discharge and during that setback her blood was drawn before 2 weeks could pass again. I then shared that in our efforts to bring her home before two midnights had passed I never asked if she should have the next bloodwork done two weeks after the last outpatient bloodwork because maybe the orders in the ED were not the same and did not cover everything. I never asked if the next bloodwork should be one or two weeks after she entered the ED or one or two weeks after she was discharged from the ED or at another or with a different frequency. I pointed out that Mom’s first appointment with the big hospital’s outpatient surgery office is coming up next week, giving the date, and asked how many times they want us to get the assigned bloodwork prior to that appointment.

    I asked all of that probably because I am Both overthinking the situation AND Also because it’s been a long journey and clarifying communication can truly be the key to smoothing over the next steps in the process. The reason I am telling you all about this is because you cannot make this stuff up; when advocating for your loved one at home after hospital discharge and while awaiting the next appointment, legitimate questions do arise and unfortunately there is rarely a simple process for getting a clear answer.

    So she did not have an answer. She did encourage me a little by stating that the surgeon on duty in the outpatient office next week when Mom has her appointment is the same surgeon who admitted her to the big hospital and who initially diagnosed her there and began discussing future surgery this summer. However, she had no answer about the bloodwork and though she offered to check with the surgeon and let us know, she stated that she did not think it needs to be done now. Well, that’s a partial answer, but not clear direction 3 phone calls later.

    I managed to forget to call the mobile lab back and they called again this morning while I was meeting with an online client. When I called back they agreed to put Mom on their schedule for next week and we are going to touch base if I hear more of an answer.

    Trust me, there’s more to it than accompanying your loved one to all of the appointments that you schedule, reading all of the discharge and care instructions, and making/taking all kinds of phone calls, there are also all of the questions you did not get an answer to, mostly because you didn’t think to ask at the time.

    Clear your schedule (yeah, LOL). There’s plenty to do to clarify what the plan is between appointments and to prepare for the next appointment. And now the kids are home from school or you’re driving them to camps. Controlled (or not) chaos and here’s yet another call to make and another one’s coming through. And those who have time to talk with you don’t know the answers, but maybe they will get them. Hopefully not having the answer doesn’t matter when it comes to making progress toward further treatment goals.