We checked into a hotel with an indoor water park in or at and our boys were already having the time of their lives with their dad on the big water slides while I, Mom, was holding everyone’s shoes and a big bag of things we thought we might need as there was no available table or chair in sight and we try to avoid at least some of the extra fees like the locker fee.
Then this amazing fellow mom, a complete stranger, waived me over and said it was just her at her table and I was welcome to sit there. Perfect for keeping an eye on my daughter in the play areas for younger kiddos- front row seat.
Then my husband (after going to the rental vehicle to locate our second son’s second croc) brought me more to hold and then asked “aren’t you going in?” He felt it was fine to just leave our stuff including cell phones and i wasn’t comfortable with that without a locker. Plus the other mom at the table had gotten up to get a double tube for our daughter and her daughter to ride around together and I didn’t want to leave her stuff unattended.
Like a living coat rack my children have been hanging things on me or placing them in my hands since they could crawl and the load has only gotten heavier when there’s things to do. It seems to come with the territory that Mom is to hold this, watch this, do this and in many ways it’s a special honor, until the expectations overwhelm and the literal weight of things pile up. Sometimes it really is just a lot.
Very thankful for other moms who jump in to ease my four ring circus sometimes in a pinch when it feels like even with my husband and I there’s not enough parenting, refereeing, and overseeing to go around.
It felt nice to be able to just sit in this extra chair this evening as we’ll be doing plenty more over the weekend and because at home Mom has been handing me her things for years as well.
If you’re a caregiver, I see you. If you feel like a human coat rack; I’m right there with you. And if you’re sandwiched and your parents or older loved ones are now placing their things in your hands in more ways than one; you’re not alone.
When I think about who is going to decorate for every holiday, I want it to be me. I overdo my kiddos’ themed birthday parties in the most delightful way. I put so much heart and soul into it I do these parties (with TONS of guests) until they turn 10 years old and beyond that we do more reasonable, chill, fun outings with just a few best friends. One of my local besties and I have had an events business (that is currently on pause as she has received a rare diagnosis that, among other things, is zapping her once vibrant energy and because I have needed to be home for my mom much more since October). And I grew up decorating the house for each holiday (some more than others) and have carried that tradition on.
I shop clearances quite a bit and do so year round (I also shop year round for holiday gifts), but I admittedly am more of a maximalist and find joy in setting everything out for others to enjoy. I will say that I absolutely have price limits for things and will pass 99.9 percent of the time on anything that is priced higher than I want it to be for that item and often hope that I will be back when it’s marked down (or if it’s an online item I occasionally peek back to see if it is marked down, or depending on the app, sometimes they alert me when there’s a price cut) and before it’s done. I definitely miss out on plenty, but always make it all work.
For my kiddos from birthdays ages 1-4 I have a larger family party that includes great aunts and other important individuals who do not necessarily still have children at home to bring along, plus friends and family with kids, and eventually preschool buddies. We are now past this stage with all four kids. From ages 5-10 we do a big theme party with many of the kiddos we know with a fun theme, plus we do what we call the Grandparent party/Grandparent Dinner where we have a separate favorite theme and get pizza or burgers or subs and have the grandparents over separately along with a great aunt who has been part of things for my lifetime (also long ago we had some great grandparents on my husband’s side in the mix for some of these). I don’t repeat themes, simply because I love to do up something new, but I have compromised a bit when a different child really wants something that’s been done. We just put a different spin on it. Starting at age 11, it’s just the Grandparent Dinner with a theme as involved or as simple as the birthday kid chooses. My oldest wants nothing to do with all of this celebrating (very much like his dad) and for his 14th and 15th birthdays we compromised on the “theme” simply being a color. First blue, then the next year, green. My second son, a big sports fan, has had an NFL dinner, an MLB dinner, and this year our favorite college teams merch will create the 13th birthday vibe. This son will also spend a morning at a trampoline place with a handful of friends on another day and we have plans for some favorite foods and a Marvel movie. Planning an outdoor movie Bash coming up for our son turning 9 soon with Soccer on deck for the Grandparent Party. And our daughter is turning 7 very soon after that and will have a bring a favorite doll, stuffy, or action figure tea party with an Alice in Wonderland vibe. Already gathering (and making) all the fun things for less, making my lists, and checking them twice.
And today I am family picnic ready (for just my kiddos and all 4 of the grandparents) with my decor. But we will be grabbing made to order subs this time and starting at 2 PM so we can enjoy all the way until we drive to our new firework-watching spot. I have a few go-to things that I cook, but I don’t love to cook. I do some of the holiday food prep, but when I can sub it out or order in, I love to. My husband is very particular about food and has kind of taken on a lot of the weekend meal prep and providing some kitchen support throughout the week. We also spend tons of time using convenience foods which is a story for another day. Enjoying my slower morning and hoping to find some family connection and some more downtime as the day progresses. Mom says she feels up to joining us for some of it and we are grateful for that as we are for every day she is able to remain at home.
When sandwiched, it tends to take a miracle to get a day off and forget about a date night or getaway weekend with the one you love without moving heaven and earth. If you have kids and aging parents, I’m sure you know.
If your relationship can withstand the stress of raising kids and advocating for parents all at once, then you’re both likely putting in a lot of effort to be intentional about the things that matter. That is not easy and it is not automatic. If it feels like it is, you’re probably not truly in the thick of it with your kids and parents all at once or you’re the exception.
There’s plenty of research about relationships out there and I honestly have not had the time to look up what is out the on relationships while sandwiched, but I will say that I am thankful that I am about to celebrate 20 years of marriage and 26 years together overall and not trying to navigate the dating world right now with everything else I have going on.
But even on a night when my in-laws have the kids with their cousins, we were cleaning up from an extended family gathering and my husband decided it was too late to watch the movie we were planning to watch because he had to work the next day and I had to spend 8 hours with his sister and family in town as we only get to see them twice a year and our kids were ready for some quality cousin time with parents and grandparents. So, in fairness, we were too tired for much. And it was worth it; we’d hosted an epic gathering with many local members of both sides of my husband’s extended family at our generous neighbor’s backyard pool and seeing the kids playing together in bliss, dozens of second cousins who rarely see each other, instantly friends again. Totally worth it. But often there isn’t time, there isn’t energy, and there isn’t much for the kids to do in our absence.
Sometimes we let screens save the date while our 15 and almost 13 year old put on the movie and watch with the youngest two and we hope for the best with my parents while we escape to our room or, very very rarely (we’re talking once a quarter if that) escape to a restaurant or a movie very close by. Other times we swap dropping off our kids with others while we take their kids another time. My husband’s work took us away as a couple to a sales meeting two years in a row and both dear friends and my in-laws helped, but the packing, the labeling, the lists, and the swapping is all part of it. There are joys in some of it and my mom-in-law and mom friends do Everything possible to make things easier, but it’s just not.
We spent over an hour today talking about plans for Thursday for our 20th anniversary that wasn’t yet planned. My husband named a special restaurant important to us in the past that had crossed my mind and we were both happy he made the reservation. And we realized our youngest has a birthday party she can attend while we are out and my parents are around for major emergencies, our neighbors are amazing if the worst comes up, and between my 15 year old and almost 13 year old we have a semblance of one pretty active babysitter who can get us through. But we asked a lot of questions about timing, about planning dinner for them ahead, quite frankly about managing our expectations in general.
We’ll likely get out to dinner, but my husband took off the whole day to consider spending it together and we realized we have swimming lessons to run to, we cannot think of much to do locally during a day out on a Thursday, so the planning continues and tends to feel less fun with every extra planning conversation and effort required.
I like to tell young parents expecting their first child, “Leave the house at random times carrying as little as possible as often as you can right now, just because you can.” I should also urge them to seize those spontaneous dates while they still can. We may spontaneously date again in retirement, but I don’t imagine it will be the same. Comedies at home are a favorite of ours to laugh together and break the ice of an era that threatens to consume us or maybe already has. There are certainly bright spots of course, but we know all too well that it’s complicated. Not much is just us right now. We would not ultimately trade the ones we love to streamline it, but yet we also sometimes wish we were like the few couples that find a way to make each other a true priority. But there are honestly times where there isn’t time.
As my oldest, age 15, of course lives here full-time and has witnessed all manner of unpleasantness hitting the fan over the years with me (his mom) as an only child advocating for her parents’ medical needs, we have had a number of conversations about his plans for taking care of my husband and I as we age and become more vulnerable. Stay tuned for more on this as I interview my other 3 children.
As of now, my in-laws have said they want to stay in their home for as long as humanly possible (and despite past health scares they are in their 60s and going strong in their new home on their farm) and then they say they want to be put in a nursing home and as far as I know that is what my husband and sister-in-law have planned. She lives in another state and won’t be able to provide much direct support unless they would move near her and my husband is not overflowing with extra empathy. We definitely will see what their needs are and how it all goes.
But back to my 15 year old. In the past he has told me that he plans to get me a tiny house on his property where he pays a highly skilled caregiver to take care of me and visits often to check to make sure I am taken care of. I have expressed gratitude, but noted that this is likely an expensive choice and encouraged him to start with a schedule of rotating support from himself and his 3 siblings while his dad and I have more minimal needs and, simply, before more is needed. He admits he will likely have it easier than I do as an only child, but expressed that he plans to work hard for a strong salary and to provide that way. We will certainly be grateful if that happens, but it’s, at minimum, interesting to see him already verbalizing some boundaries around what he does and does not want to be part of. Hopeful that he practices some flexible thinking when it comes to this topic if we have more needs than expected and if, heaven forbid, the money to pay for our care ends up just not being there. Staying hopeful that between the 4 of them we will have a better experience than many? Still getting a sense of nausea when I think about the people who go through ongoing medical issues without a solid support system. What must that be like? May we find a way to advocate for them that truly works!
So this morning Mr. 15 said “Yeah I’m not gonna be doing all that that you do for your parents” as I took the time to give him some tips for how to talk to adults at businesses that may hire him to work for them. I also encouraged him to write down the name and job title of the person he spoke to on the phone who said they would have the hiring manager call him because they often do not follow through. I also encouraged him to write down (or put in his phone) the date and time of his calls to each business and what they said so he knows how many times he has followed up and can communicate that to them as needed or can just know for himself when to move on from devoting his time, effort, and energy to communicating with a given business. I also said to him that when he is acting as one of my super medical advocates one day he should write down who he talked to, when, what time, and for whom they work and in what role. And his reply is, “I’m not doin’ all that.”
I always hope I am planting seeds and that his 25 year old self is more open to considering these tips, that his 35 year old self puts some of them into practice, and that his 45 year old self is ready to be in my corner, along with his siblings (who I am trying to raise in this way as well) of course.
Sometimes I wonder how concerned I should be. But thankfully my sandwiched state is currently serving up plenty more to think about instead.
A friend of mine with 9 amazing children is also sandwiched as her mom-in-law’s needs ebb and flow, and she said the other day that at some point we need to shift focus to the kids. That is resonating with me quite a bit right now as I have my four kiddos home for the summer and Mom, taking it day by day on her liquid diet, is currently half way to the 60 days she needs for her Medicare benefits to re-up. She’s framing beautiful baby pics of her only grands and our house cleaner (who is also an organizational extraordinaire) is hanging them for her all over the suite she shares with my dad. There have been bright spots om the last couple of weeks and it almost seems like the calm before the storm, but I haven’t been focusing in on her as much as my dad is heating the incessant soups and popping straws into the protein drinks and carrying the trays to their room. Home health PT continues to come work with her to help her get stronger and mobile lab is coming by to draw the blood needed to monitor when Mom becomes nutritionally sound for surgery. Just chugging along at the moment.
The kids are home 24/7 for summer break other than the few partial day camps we can afford. We are deeply blessed by getting to use the pool of someone we know and we are doing hikes (walks with clues at area parks and trails) organized by our library system where we look for posts and do rubbings on a sheet that holds 30 of them. The kids whine a bit, but it’s an activity similar to geocaching that is very much for all ages. We adventure together and I am soaking up the sun with them even on the hottest days or refereeing indoors while I try to work. I am apologizing for the distant background noise on client calls and rushing the dog back in the house ASAP because she needs her summer cut and we are on the waiting list.
Sometimes you need to focus on the kids…sometimes you need to focus on the dog….sometimes you just hope to find a way to settle into a routine with the top bread remaining stable while you’re responsible for the bottom bread all day, every day. Sometimes you find a little bit of rhythm, a tiny bit of routine, and some sweet spontaneous summer adventures while you’re waiting for other needs and demands on your time to increase, to return.
Today I focused on the kids and a little work. Tomorrow I take both parents to the neurologist for that yearly check in. Sometimes the kids are safe, but they take a backseat. And all the time right now, we’re in the middle.
There’s a meme online that goes like this “1 kid is 1 kid. 2 kids are 5 kids. 3 kids are 9473837 kids, 8 hurricanes, & a donkey.”
We have 4 kids and many of our friends have 3 kids or more. The quote is truly relatable.
But on most days, give me someone else’s kids (who know me) to add to my crew, Please, especially during the summer or during any extended break from school. If the children are potty-trained and for the most part eat independently, I’m not doing you a favor, you are doing ME a favor by placing them with my kids and keeping them from fighting with each other. It doesn’t stop the fighting completely, and some of our friends’ kids are also second cousins and/or very familiar to us and so our kids will sometimes argue with them too. But for the most part, someone else’s 1 kid means 1 or more of my kids are happier. Someone else’s 2 kids make 5 kids feel like 2 kids. And someone else’s 3 or more kids bring the very Best kind of party, especially when everyone has a buddy close in age or with similar interests or both!!
I’ve spent lots of time and energy in the last couple of weeks trying to get friends over with my kids. It’s another job I take on. I also sign them up for the camps I can afford and we organize opportunities for them to connect with other kids, but during these long days with all 4 of them and trying to work part time while managing all things related to my parents’ medical care and most things in the home, I quickly realize that I need to just factor into my day time to drive around and pick up everyone’s kids (with their parents’ permission!). And we booked two weeks away for our family of 6 in July this year….wonder how many kids it will feel like we have then!
The sandwich generation’s primary caregivers live in a series of these. We often find ourselves in a no-win situation.
Some recent ones for me include spending a bunch of time lining up summer camps that all 4 of my kids can go to for parts of the day so that we are not spending too much on full-day camps that we cannot afford because I only work part-time because I can’t work full-time and pay someone enough to do all the things I try and fail to do in a day. So I spend time I don’t have finding and registering for camps that might interest my kids of varying ages. For 3 days of this week we found one semi-affordable half day camp that would teach my oldest, second, and third child simultaneously while my youngest attends a separate camp with friends. I used time I didn’t have while paperwork for work is overdue so that I could gain some quiet time to catch up on my paperwork.
After two drop-offs, one with the leader showing up late, I hurried home to lock in with my paperwork. Dad moved his golf day from tomorrow to today because it will rain tomorrow. I want him less stressed and as healthy as he can be, but that meant I had to let the home health OT in. Home health is to free me up to do my work, but she parked me out of my driveway, offered to move while she hung on the phone and eventually came inside. No locking in for me. After I overheard her talking to my mom about discharge I got up and had one of many conversations for clarification and education. Then I got Mom her water and checked if she needed anything else while explaining that my job needs my notes done and I need to do them while the house is quiet. Got one note done before Mom started texting and calling me with her needs. In less than 3 hours’ paid time I had to rush out stressed as can be to two camp pick ups because I got practically nothing done again except for all of what feels like thankless labor for which I am the default family member. Mom’s calling me while I am trying to drive, my kids are screaming and fighting with one another when they’ve only been in the car 3 minutes. I completely lose my patience with them, I get home and work all afternoon with online clients while my kids fend for themselves under the supervision of my teen and preteen because there’s no more money for camp. And there would not have been any money for camp or the vacation we are going to take if I did not see those clients.
And I want to meet with the clients. After my family, the work I do with my clients is the greatest honor of my life. But if I didn’t work I would be able to give more attention to the generations around me and might do so with less rush, less stress. But I’ve been there, when I do that a light in me dims and threatens to go out. I miss work when I don’t work. And when I have too much work and cannot be there for family in the major things from advocating medically to being there for the school events and making sure they get to participate in the activities they want to be part of, it doesn’t feel right either. And if there’s no work there’s no money for the extras that we enjoy together. But it feels like I am always presented with no really good choices. If I spend the time on the holidays and the parties and the activities, the laundry and the clutter threaten to choke the life out of my home and this is close to the current reality. If I delegate, which I am blessed to do with the housecleaning, there are many questions about how many hours I need to fit in at work to cover it.
If I am the one who sits in the ED with Mom to advocate and the doctors do nothing major all night and then I am exhausted all day, no one is taking over with the kids and the laundry and the paperwork for work. If Dad goes and sits there we might risk he and Mom forgetting to verbalize an important detail. If I get home health I have to let them in and wonder when they are coming, with outpatient appointments for Mom I can schedule them but have to clear my morning or afternoon to be the one to take her. If I work or care for the family the chores do not get done.
Still not sure how all of these categories became the primary responsibility of one. Others are sometimes willing to help, including my husband and Dad, but if not, it’s all me.
As the blog evolves I’m going to try skipping the weekly summary and just pose a question I have that I feel is relevant to the week’s content. What can we ALL do as a society to reduce the actual and perceived burdens assigned to primary caregivers of the family? I encourage you to think about what you can do to share the mental load or lighten the actual load of to-do’s for someone who fits this description either in your own family or who fills this role in a family you know. Examples I know of that have blessed real families can include, but are not limited to: Bringing a meal, giving gift cards for meals or to cover the cost of a need or want, providing babysitting, giving a few rides to the ones they care for, showing up at the emergency room to help advocate or for support, taking someone’s laundry home with you and bringing it back freshly laundered and folded, answering their texts asking what you would do or providing knowledge you have due to your expertise or experience in an area, providing encouragement or reassurance, bringing a self-care package, dropping off a bag of fun items to keep kids or pets happily and safely busy, cleaning or organizing a space in their home, dropping off special coffee or other beverages or treats, sharing a song or prayer or relaxation exercise with them, inviting them to join you for a break or shared self-care. There are SO Many possibilities and I urge you to think about what the individual person most needs or wants and if you do not know them super well, ask them what would be most helpful. If you are concerned that they will ask for something you cannot offer, give a few choices of things you are willing to offer and have the capacity to do.
Fun Fact about the Founder and Family: My husband and I have 4 children and we have them together. We are not a blended family, but we know some amazing blended families with many different situations. We have been married for almost 20 years, together for 26, and have been through most of the stages of parenting with at least one of our children so far. We started feeling sandwiched approximately within the last 5 years and our awareness of our status in this generation is growing.
Today was brighter than yesterday. Hotter out and the inflated bounce house with water slide roared to life as I settled into friendly conversation with fellow moms at my youngest two children’s elementary school. I bookended today with our morning routine (few hiccups this time) and a great client session full of obvious progress and more smooth sessions followed by our first chilly dip in our neighbor’s pool. Today was a day of gratefully witnessing several of my favorite kiddos delightedly playing inside and outside the school at amazing stations and activities, enjoying an incredible reward day with great friends. It was the day of being one of very few parents supervising middle schoolers on the loose with bounce houses and food trucks galore (even though my middle schooler didn’t hang with me- wonder why).
I’m sunburned because remembering sunscreen fell out of my head, and my daughter is screaming at me because I asked her to wear a dress for the last day of school tomorrow, but the moment is lighter because it was a lighter day and because she is now next to me while I blog telling me I need an extra “t” on the end of but above. And I found some jammin kettle corn at the big box store the other day and when I came home this incredible older couple brought a delicious homecooked meal to our door because she read my social media posts about the overload I’ve been under with all that’s going on with Mom. Love in action. The homecare nurse who came today said we can get the bi-weekly labwork done here at home which was a pleasant surprise. She then proceeded to tell me that they need a whole new order called in even though their parent company is the small hospital system, same as the lab we were just at yesterday, but apparently it can’t be passed on from one facility to another group within the same exact hospital system. SMH.
I chose to pause on purpose today just like I tell my clients to do. I chose to be present with the ones I love the most and I chose to engage in service at my children’s schools which I value greatly. And my husband and two of our kids set up for a huge event we have next week at the church without me while I spent time in one of my happy places. It’s good to decompress, especially when your loved ones are healthy or at least stable. Seize it when possible. There are definitely days when it’s just not. If you’ve lived without margin, I see you.
Today I got up at 6 AM as usual on the kids’ school day. I got Mom out the door to get bloodwork around 7:30 AM so that I could go do end of school year errands and be back for Mom’s home health physical therapist to arrive and to meet with online clients 1-4 PM. I pulled the car up to the curb at the lab, the one that I basically only drive for Mom because it’s the only one she can get into. I went into get one of the wheelchairs, making sure that it has the footrests that work for Mom, but no calf rests because they hurt her legs as she lives with lymphedema. She and I together got her in the wheelchair and into the lab, only to be told that the larger hospital’s provider wrote the lab orders, but not the diagnosis on the (yep, even in 2025) old fashioned prescription pad slip I had to carry to the lab that is local to us because it is not a part of the same hospital system as the larger hospital who is now overseeing Mom’s care. We got back in the car and I had more calls to make without the correct phone numbers with me to ask the large hospital provider to please communicate the diagnosis to the lab as soon as possible. Like the resourceful advocate that I am, I went back through my phone to find the number I received a call from when the larger hospital system called and changed Mom’s upcoming appointment. One thing after another. But if I don’t do it, it won’t get done. I know many of you feel that.
Meanwhile I am getting plenty of texts and calls and emails all day about life, including an email from one of my bosses that wasn’t entirely unexpected, but absolutely added to the stress of the day. I started driving around with Mom to my errands to keep her out and about while we awaited an answer about getting the lab work. She made the best of getting to see the “sights” around town and spending the day with me and I remained stressed looking around in 10 different stores for some things I was trying to put together. Mom helped me have a few laughs, but I knew that after work I had more errands, followed by morning clients, followed by the privilege of being able to attend two of my children’s end of year parties as a volunteer, followed by more clients, and an evening of getting ready to head out of town for a funeral on Thursday.
I put every puzzle piece of the to-do list today together doing so hungry and dehydrated (ate lunch late and caffeinated). The new physical therapist session went smoothly, client sessions done, fed the kids, and as my husband stopped by home for 10 seconds after work to pick up our son for soccer practice he said, “See you at zero dark thirty” which he often says to note that we are ships passing in the night, often heading in different directions to do all the things for our kids, my parents, and our volunteer commitments. I headed out and picked up my youngest children’s printed birthday invitations to hand out to their school friends tomorrow. I dared to look at just one sheet of each set of invites and, finding them acceptable, paid for them and went on my way making two more stops going over all the things in my mind. Things needed for this week, next week, and in the months to come. My mental load today involved talking with 6 medical people related to Mom’s medical care either by phone or in person, going through the mental checklist of everything I need and want for the things coming up that we are doing with and for the kids, with and for our church and groups we are involved with, with and for the school, and for summer in general. I asked myself, what might be sold out if I don’t grab it now and what doesn’t really matter and can wait until later? In and out of the car and out to the other end of town again because I forgot something this morning even though I was just there earlier.
Sound familiar? If you are the primary parent and default person for everything-except-primary-financial provider, it probably does. Many of you might even be the primary provider PLUS the one keeping Everything running….hats off to you as you choose to make it all work! After arriving home later than I wanted and preparing for a late night getting things ready that are important for me to do, I opened the paper bag holding the printed invitations, noticed that there was only one sheet of my sons’ and the rest were my daughters’ and I lost it. Was it really about the invitations only? Of course not. But a little bit it was. A little bit I was pretty furious that I made two trips to that side of town and only made it back with the invitations once. I was irritated at myself for not checking things beyond the first two pages in the bag. I was feeling the weight of all of the things that I TRULY do want to do this week and the fact that, as is often the case, the things I could cross off the list without major consequences are actually the only things I want to participate in.
Do I want to arrange all of the appointments? Nope, but no one else really can. Do I want to make meals for my family and know that the piles all over the house (of an infinite number of categories) are almost all my responsibility? I really don’t. Do I want to do never ending laundry? I do not. But these are the things that are really needed for my family members’ well-being. I want to come to the class parties (and I know what a privilege it is that I have the flexibility to do that). I want to host big overblown children’s themed birthday parties that involve everyone we know (when I see a party come together and people enjoying it, it lights up my life). And I want to do the shopping because I am queen of getting fantastic deals and making sure we have that extra quality of life, even if most of it is made possible by clearances, buying in bulk, or discount stores.
I am thankful to be able to put the puzzle together each day, but sandwiched life really piles on sometimes, and self-care without dropping the balls in the air isn’t always possible. There are many valid things to be said about balance and boundaries and self-care, but sometimes the best laid plans don’t go your way and it’s absolutely a thing that the expectations for the designated family caregiver can be pretty heavy. The family caregiver makes it all work out and some of that is rewarding and meaningful. I have a little sign over my pantry now (in our old house it was right above the sink where I washed the dishes) which reads, “Thank God for dirty dishes; they have a tale to tell. While others may go hungry, we’re eating very well. With home, health, and happiness, I shouldn’t want to fuss; by the stack of evidence, God’s been good to us.” And this is true. I am thankful for what my messy house means, that we have thriving healthy growing kids and a sweet spoiled dog, and there’s a beautiful space where my parents share the home and I can provide help followed by an easy commute by foot right upstairs to my bed. I have a phenomenal amount to be grateful for and I am. I am aware that my problems are absolutely first world problems.
But also, more than one thing can be true at the same time, and today it is also true that I feel sandwiched from both sides. It’s not that I want the true alternatives to this, but I wish I truly could pause life like I pause my kids’ shows, to build in more margin. And if you are feeling big, real feelings about being the one who does SO much to keep everyone in your corner’s world going, I want you to know that you are absolutely Not alone. And if you say things you shouldn’t say in front of the kids sometimes when the last straw hits the fan (or if you retreat and hide away while they wait outside the door), I see you. I wanted to be seen by my family tonight, but none of them get it because they don’t live it and they were, understandably disturbed by my meltdown over a printing mishap. My husband solved the problem with an almost-as -good printing effort at home which saved the day and kept me from another trip across town, but not before he told my dad I was overreacting over nothing and dismissed the point of everything I try to do by telling me if I can’t handle it I should just stop doing so much. Not helpful in general and I know many of you have been in similar situations and know how that feels.
I don’t ever want you to think our crew is executing every task with perfection because our humanity is definitely showing. We are taking it day by day with all of you. But can we all agree that with AI booming in 2025 that we have got to be able to find the technology so that I don’t have to carry a prescription slip to the lab- LOL.
Sandwiched Support 